pretty fuckin' nuts

The other day I was watching TV as I opened a brewsky and lay back in my lawn chair, one of four pieces of furniture that my landlord had given me. I hate beer but I had no choice because it was the only cold beverage in the flat.

The only way I could have been more Southern is if I had been watching a NASCAR race with a bucket of fried chicken in my lap.

(Unfortunately, NASCAR doesn’t exist in Asia. Or really anywhere outside of Daytona Beach, FL.)

Between replays of absurd Paralympic coverage, there was a news report that shocked me to the core.

A woman in a Hong Kong government hospital was given a mastectomy.

She was not supposed to get a mastectomy.

In case you didn’t know, it means getting a titty axed. This is the picture on Wikipedia, arbiter of all knowledge:


She had just come into the hospital for a stomach flu, and then her blood sample got mixed up with that of a breast cancer patient.

Her husband was the one who initiated the investigation.

I can only imagine the rage that they feel…because that really blows, it blows even more than Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton on February 28, 1997.

And now I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.