showdown at 7-11

When I moved in to my new place above 7-11, almost everything was spic as a span. There was just one wrinkle: the remote control of the main wall-mounted AC unit (the newest, biggest, and best one of the THREE AC units in my new room) was missing batteries.

 

It simply would not do. I could not go to bed until I had procured two new AAA batteries. But where would I get batteries at 2 in the morning?

 

Luckily I live above a 7-11. Surely the 7-11 would have some batteries. I put on some flipflops and rushed downstairs.

 

But when I walked in, I only saw the racks of glossy magazines, the shelves of crisps, the coolers of VitaSoy treats. The rainbow colors of the juice boxes distracted me for a while--then, I shook my head and reminded myself of my mission. Two AAA batteries or bust!

 

I kept circling around the 7-11 but didn't see any batteries. Finally I walked up to the cash register to confront the old lady leaning against the counter half-asleep. "Qing wen, you mei you dian-shi?" I asked. Excuse me, are there batteries?

 

She shook her head. "Mei you." Don't have.

 

WTF? How could they not have batteries? "Ni que ding ma?" Are you sure? 

 

I took another lap around the store to make sure, my eagle eye roaming everywhere for the Energizer logo, trying to contain my mounting disbelief mixed with mild rage.

 

Finally I settled for buying a guava juice box to console myself. As I approached the counter to pay, I spotted a small rack of assorted batteries under the counter, next to the Mentos and Extra. Ahah!

 

I've been told I have eyes like a fox. Foxes have good eyesight, right?

 

"Zhe li jiu you dian-shi, ni wei shenme mei you gaoshu wo?" There are batteries right here, why didn't you tell me?

 

"Eh? Mei you dian-shi ah." Don't have batteries.

 

"Ni xiang pian ren ma?! Zhe shi bu shi dian-shi?!" Are you trying to trick people? Aren't these batteries?! I shoved the pack of batteries in front of her face.

 

"Ai-ya! Ni shuo 'dian-shi,' ni ying gai shuo 'dian-ci'!" she yelled back exasperatedly. You said 'TV,' you should have said 'batteries'!

Ni hui zhong-wen ma? Ni shuo cuo le! Do you really know Chinese? You spoke incorrectly!

 

Well, by this point I had been thoroughly embarassed so there was no recourse but for me to resort to English to assert my superiority. "Well...next time take more pride in customer service!"

 

I ran back upstairs and inserted the new batteries into the remote control and stood under the stream of cool air for a full ten minutes to feel better.